im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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