Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
