Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I love you

  (720): View more from Colorado

  are you drunk

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yes but I def love you, we should get married

  (720): View more from Colorado

  But I'm Jewish

  (440): View more from Ohio

  embrace Jesus

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  (440): I love you (720): are you drunk (440): yes but I def love you, we should get married (720): But I'm Jewish (440): embrace Jesus http://tfl.nu/v32c
  Replies (9) Good night (3151) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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  (306): We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/ti46
  Replies (13) Good night (3358) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face

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  (479): yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face http://tfl.nu/63az
  Replies (23) Good night (3597) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"

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  (402): My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet" http://tfl.nu/f79o
  Replies (16) Good night (3526) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?

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  (951): At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/y4sj
  Replies (18) Good night (5008) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.

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  (603): nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment. http://tfl.nu/rfmt
  Replies (4) Good night (2299) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines

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  (647): I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines http://tfl.nu/pct1
  Replies (2) Good night (1512) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

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  (501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca
  Replies (21) Good night (4200) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.

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  (319): Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party. http://tfl.nu/bbcz
  Replies (11) Good night (1493) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.

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  (254): That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it. http://tfl.nu/3la0
  Replies (10) Good night (1573) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.

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  (904): You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award. http://tfl.nu/86ud
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap

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  (231): Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap http://tfl.nu/aur6
  Replies (9) Good night (504) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.

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  (407): At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long. http://tfl.nu/ssq5
  Replies (8) Good night (574) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this

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  (706): Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this http://tfl.nu/g9na
  Replies (5) Good night (1074) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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  (206): If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on? http://tfl.nu/dsww
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (530)

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