Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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  (248): The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo ! http://tfl.nu/e5q2
  Replies (5) Good night (1365) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ready 4 sex 2nite?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  wow. woo me matt, woo me.

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  (847): ready 4 sex 2nite? (978): wow. woo me matt, woo me. http://tfl.nu/frhd
  Replies (5) Good night (1265) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  i permit you to call me

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  (575): i permit you to call me http://tfl.nu/5lhr
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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  (805): Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore" http://tfl.nu/y23i
  Replies (2) Good night (1382) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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  (630): The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum. http://tfl.nu/5o8q
  Replies (9) Good night (4419) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.

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  (512): hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one? (1-512): yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go. http://tfl.nu/pwrk
  Replies (18) Good night (3816) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.

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  (678): all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night. http://tfl.nu/k3dk
  Replies (15) Good night (796) Bad night (3010)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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  (678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq
  Replies (27) Good night (4937) Bad night (1580)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

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  (713): Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me http://tfl.nu/9ft0
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (1699)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.

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  (803): That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose. http://tfl.nu/x4y6
  Replies (7) Good night (1036) Bad night (1653)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.

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  (920): She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable. http://tfl.nu/tpm2
  Replies (3) Good night (1843) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty

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  (303): I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty http://tfl.nu/j05t
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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  (250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi
  Replies (8) Good night (1592) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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  (254): I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits. http://tfl.nu/syex
  Replies (11) Good night (1083) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's

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  (828): We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's http://tfl.nu/vesc
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (160)

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