Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
