Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so much tequila, so little girl.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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