She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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