I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
