i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Shame - the story of my life.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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