I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
