i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
