im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
