College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
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the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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