I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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