What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
