All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize