Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
