Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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