Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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