when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
