how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize