I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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