Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize