I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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