I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize