when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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