it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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