He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
where are my eyebrows?
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