I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize