i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
