You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You ruined the universe
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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