My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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