K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
