I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize