dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I want her autograph on my taint
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize