It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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