I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize