piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
