Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
