is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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