i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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