it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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