Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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