i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize