Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
