Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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