oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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