I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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