please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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