Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
