They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
