yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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