A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
