How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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