is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
