"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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