My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
