Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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