I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
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there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
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She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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