...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
