i need an iv and a liver transplant
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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