i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize