I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
