Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
