Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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