Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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