GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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