dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We don't watch enough power rangers
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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