You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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