dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
