What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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